Should Have Said No
by OneStoryOneWorld
Summary: Humans are irrational creatures, and forgiving creatures. But, Lara Jean does NOT need to forgive Peter for cheating, just dump him. Yes, she loves him but she knows better.


**Suuuuuup! I'm back. I know you guys might be questioning me and my devotion to Covinsky but I just live angst and drama (though I hate dealing with it). Anywho, this is inspired off the song "Should've Said No" by Taylor Swift.**

* * *

Strange to think the songs we used to sing, the letters, the movies, everything, was gone. I found out about his treachery yesterday, late, around 11ish, I was getting ready for bed when Chris knocked on my window. I let her in and was greeted with a worried wide eyed look instead of her signature shark grin.

_"Lara Jean."_

_"Chris, what's wrong?" I ask, wrinkling my brow, was she in trouble with her parents? Oh my god was she..._

_"I-" _

_"Oh my god! Chris are you pregnant?"_

_"What? NO!" she looked shocked, but her face quickly morphed to sad pity, she looked at me with those eyes until I couldn't take it anymore._

_"What is it then?"_

_"Peter's been cheating on you."_

_I burst laughing my head off, this was just some prank. Here, I was, actually worried._

I didn't believe her at first, I laughed maniacally, loud and hard and lingering. After that I accused her of playing a mean prank on me. She looked sadder within each passing moment. She remained quiet throughout my entire tirade, I guess that is what tipped me off.

_I shake my head like crazy "NO, no, no! Peter.. he wouldn't do that, he is way to loyal." _

Then she showed me the video, and it was obvious. Peter was kissing another girl, angrily, passionately, he then took her hand and led her into a room, a bedroom. I could hear the music in the background, he was at a party, probably drunk. And he was with another girl.

_Vile snuck up my throat at seeing that. I fled from my room towards the nearest toilet. The girl was beautiful, with long blond hair, her stature was slim and tall. I decided that I hated her, while losing my lunch into the toilet. I race back into my room and slam the door behind me. _

_"What are you going to do." Chris asked quietly_

_"I don't know." _

_I couldn't even think._

I know now, my head was perfectly clear.

_"You can't stay with him." Chris insists_

_"I love him." My voice cracks and I hug a pillow to my chest rocking back and forth on my bed. _

_"Even more reason," she takes a deep breath then held me wrapping her skinny arms around me. "if he cheats the relationship automatically becomes toxic."_

_"I need time, I have to sleep on it." I cried myself to sleep, with Chris staying awake, my head on her lap as she wipes away my tears._

Time has passed, I have slept on it, and I realized what I had to do.

And even though this is the right choice, I know it is. I still treat Kitty extra special this morning, she needs all of the cushioning she can get.

She adored Peter, as did I. I thought bitterly.

Peter tries to kiss me at school, I turn my cheek last second, so he gets hair. I treat him, otherwise the same though.

I don't know why. I'm still going to break up with him, I guess, I just need one last day.

School seems to drag on longer than usual, and I don't know whether I should feel thankful or spiteful towards Father Time.

He drops me off home, and I don't wait a second, i'm dialing Ms. Kavinsky as I shrug off my jacket.

"Hi? Ms. Kavinsky?"

"Yes, hello Lara Jean. How are you?"

"Honestly, i'm doing awful."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes." I say "It's about Peter." and I tell her.

I can't describe the relief I felt when I heard she was angered by her son's actions. I was genuinely scared that she already knew and was OK with it.

One phone call later, I learned some very interesting facts.

1) Ms. Kavinsky DIDN'T know

2) She strongly disapproved and was willing to leave the house with Owen so we can have it to ourselves

3) At first she didn't believe me. I don't blame her, I hardly believe me either.

4) Peters dad also cheated, (it must be genetic.)

5) She understood why I had to break up with him, she might've not been delighted, but she understood. That was enough.

I almost wish I went on Pinterest, but I knew I couldn't. I didn't want to be mean, I wanted to be firm and concise. I couldn't do that if I broke up with him while crying, or if I used some big elaborate cake.

I didn't want to embarrass him either, Kitty was the spiteful one, not me.

* * *

"Hey, mom? Did you want the organic strawberries. I bought the cheaper ones since I was a few bucks shor-oh, hey Covey! What are you doing here?" Peter stops looking surprised, he glances around taking in my interior designing. Hardly anything, but the lights were all on and turned to their brightest shade, and pictures were all decorating the desks.

"Peter." I whisper, I clear my throat and try again "Peter, look at this."

I take his coat sleeve and tugg it towards a framed picture, it was a picture of me and Peter cuddling on a couch, me asleep and him looking at me with love in his eyes.

Peter smiles oddly at me "It's a nice picture Covey."

I nod, "Remember that day you sung "Style" for me? In front of your friends? You didn't blush or deny it, you performed because you knew that I wanted to hear it."

"Of course I remember." he tells me his voice low

"Did you cheat?" my back was turned so I couldn't see his reaction, but I heard him gasp quietly, a sharp barely there move.

"Lara Jean..." he wasn't going to deny it, he was going to leave it hanging so I can finish his thought, so I can complete his sentence.

"Isn't it weird that everything is gone?"

"Lara-"

"Yesterday, I found out about you."

He falls quiet, I don't look at him, it feels wrong. Like he's not my Peter and this isn't my actual life.

I pick up a polaroid "Look, this is when you ate a pack of chilli peppers because Kitty said you couldn't. Remember?" In the pic Peter was bright red, but his smile was large and he was clearly pleased as he stood there with his hands on my waist. I avert my gaze.

I keep my voice steady, internally chanting.

_You can do this. Don't look into his eyes. You are a strong feminist. You don't need no man! No matter how sweet_

_**-NO! He cheated on you. He's not worth it.**_

_Who are you? _

_**Obviously the smart side of Lara Jean. **_

_Shut up!_

"I remember." His voice cracks and I almost look up, but my eyes wither when they meet the blaring lights.

I silently thank my lighting choices.

I was still turned away.

"Anyway, this is over."

"What?" his voice cracks

"_We're_ over."

"No!" I turn away even more, and he takes my hand only for me to snatch it back immediately. Recoiling at his touch, I really don't know who else he touched with his hands. "I'd take it all back, one chance? It was a moment of weakness."

A moment of weakness? What is that supposed to mean? He was so horny he would have fucked a horse?

I don't care. He can be horny all he wants, the problem is that he said yes. I let him now as much.

I whirl to face him. My eyes holding his.

"And you said yes! You should've said no! You should've gone home! You should have thought twice before you let it all go!" I feel a sob rip me open muffling my last words. I start to turn away when he stops me, studying my face.

"You've been crying." he sounds so dejected.

He's not allowed to sound sad, he did this to himself.

I feel some tears slip out, from anger or bitter sadness, that, I don't know.

"You know all the right things to say. But do you honestly expect me to believe, we can ever be the same?"

He looks hopeful, but my glare seemed to tear whatever hope he has out of his eyes.

"No!"

"We can try, I want to make this work."

"_I'm_ not the problem here Peter." I snap

"The past is the past, I want to think of my future, with you." he takes my hands and looks at me tenderly, his eyes holding mine. His syruppy eyes make me feel heavy and I don't want to move. But I do, because he probably gave those syrup eyes to another girl.

I tear my hands away from him, pushing him hard against his chest, his shoulders shake on impact, but he doesn't move.

"It's not about what you _want_, Peter. I'm sure you had plenty of that." I remark snidely, but my wavering voice probably killed the effect.

"I just need one more chance, please. I know it's a lot to ask-"

"I wonder what I was doing when you were with her." I say thoughtfully, turning so that my back was facing him

"Lar-"

"Picking up dry cleaning? Baking? Perhaps I was online buying school spirit gear for your next lacrosse game?" I probabaly sounded psychotic.

But I deserved it, after all I've been through, I deserve to sound just a little crazy.

"Lara Jean" his voice cracked on Jean. I ignore the pang in my heart at hearing him sound so hurt.

"Where was I?" I asked him, I genuinely wanted to know "Did you even think of me? Or did you just forget me?"

"I can never forget you." He was on his knees looking up at me lie I was destroying him, maybe I was. But he should have thought of that before he cheated.

"You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet, you should've said no and maybe you might've still had me."

And it was true, I would have been his forever, but him cheating spoke volumes. If you truly cared about someone you would never want to hurt them, you would never forget them enough to disrespect them like that. Her forgot me long enough to focus on another girl, to do something he knew I wouldn't have liked. Or worse, he remembered me, but he didn't care, he didn't think.

It is a simple as that. I knew what he did. I had no idea how many times, but that was unimportant at the moment. He forgot me long enough to have another girl on his mind. That's enough.

I shrugg on my jacket and ignored his pleading when I realized I still had something nagging at me.

"Was she worth it? Was she worth this?"

Was she? Was having someone in bed worth all of the pain and heartbreak this brings me, all the depression it seemed to be bringing him.

He immediately started protesting, but I didn't miss the way he hesitated for a second.

No. NO. No! NO!

"I shouldn't be asking myself why."

He didn't have to ask "why what?". He already knew.

Why would you want to break a perfectly good heart?

* * *

**Woah. I don't know how I feel about this, I love Covinsky, and Peter would never cheat. But what if he did? What if he just cracked? Well let me know if you would like Peter's perspective I have a pretty good idea of how I would write it... Let me know! **

**-Autumn, xxx**


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